May Angels Lead You In..

it seems that my valley can never catch a break...heaven got another good one early this morning.

"It doesn’t matter how tough we are. Trauma always leaves a scar. It follows us home, it changes our lives. Trauma messes everybody up, but maybe that's the point. All the pain and the fear and the crap…maybe going through all that is what keeps us moving forward. It’s what pushes us. Maybe we have to get a little messed up before we can step up."

time for me to get out for a little while and off the map. phoniex, arizona. here i come.. gotta get my mind straight


being ditched, has it's upsides

i had a hot date on friday night, no really. it was a good night. i cooked dinner and watched a movie, then we watched another movie and he fell asleep. sounds super weird, but it was sweet that he could fall asleep at my house. i didn't mind. then i wandered out of the bonus room and cleaned up the house. it was a good friday. but saturday it wasn't so great. i had plans to hang out with a (i thought) good friend. i never got a phone call or a text saying that he wouldn't be able to make it. it happens, i understand. i was just happy i had a good night last night. anyway i decided to fall off the map of facebook and turn off my phone and have some me time. and i think i'm gonna keep it that way for the next two weeks. because this week it's time for me to get back into the swing of things not to mention next week i am going to be in arizona for a week. gonna be good to fall off the grid. but if any of you feel sad or down look at this website. hahaha it makes anyone happy.


enjoy my loves.


What A Week

It has been one of the most stressful weeks for me. not that anything huge is going on but the fact that i am going back to school in almost a month now just kinda boggles my mind. i've been watching my children as i call them. No i don't have any of my own i watch my sister Jane, Esme (my cousin), and Cormac who i nannied all summer. It is quite the bunch and some day's are harder than others (this week especially) and then there are the days where it makes it all worth it. Anyway this week I was just exhausted beyond exhausted for no particular reason. I had to sign up for classes which meant waking up at 5 instead of 6:30 like every day. I just never feel like I have enough time. Then it hit me, why am I wasting so much time counting down until I have time for myself instead of loving the moments I have with my mom and little sister and cousin? I love being around them and I've taken it for granted for sure. I love the chaos that is my life. Besides when I don't worry I'm a lot happier. As they say, "Don't Worry, Be Happy..... Listen to what I say....In your life expect some trouble. But when you worry you make it double. Don't worry be happy...Put a smile on your face don't bring everybody down like this don't worry, it will soon pass. Whatever it is, don't worry, be happy!" Now I know I am going to say this and I also know I am going to have days where I'm  not happy and just plain grumpy. But hey that's just me. 

30 Day Challenge: Day 13
Your Favorite Band or Artist 
way to hard to choose just one so i did what i do best apparently on this challenge. make a giant collage.



No it's not flooding, but it's one the verge of flooding. When it rain's it pours here in seattle. for sure. it has been raining really hard all week. i love rain. i just don't like driving in it. anywho time for the 30 day challenge again. can't wait for tonight! i get to go eat mongo with one of my best girls.

Day 12: A Picture of Something You Love
Dancing. Music. Ipod.

 there really is nothing i love more than a good song. a song you can dance to or sing to. no matter if you are alone or with a bunch of friends dancing. i love it. i used to dance when i was younger. ballet, tap, jazz, everything and anything. i ended up letting it go but i still love to shake it. there is something liberating about just moving to the beat and making up your own moves. doing something in that place that no one has ever done before that moment. just somethin to think about.


Again Catch Up!

I'm not very good at doing the 30 day challenge but I am going to finish  it regardless.

Days 10-11
Day 10: A Picture of The Person You Do The Silliest Things With
Mary Romney 
we did some crazy things when we first met our freshman year. from running around rexburg in the freezing cold trying to get to movies and avoid creepy ukrainian men from taken to running up the cold hills at night and trying to keep each other warm. from making lots of food and taking even more pictures. to our sophmore year where we danced like there was no tomorrow, got dressed up, ran from psychology, and got lost, found puppies and wanted to keep them and ate as much as we could. movie time? we do the silliest things together for sure. i miss her for a lot.

Day 11: A Picture of Something You Hate
i hate feet. i hate when people touch my feet and i hate touching other peoples. i only like little baby feet and even then its hard for me. 

i hate this vermin. disgusting. rexburg has the craziest ones ever made. i can't even look at them.

these are only the things i hate the most but if you know me you know there are a lot of more strange "hates" that i have in my life. but that's just me.



Catch Up/Kinda Don't Care...

30 Day Challenge: Day 4-9

Day 4: A Picture Of Your Favorite Night

Tim McGraw concert 2010. I had just gotten home from London and I was on a definete feel good high for sure. i was happy about where i had just come from and the things i had discovered about myself. i was happy and content with just living the life. i haven't always loved country music. when i moved to the valley that is when i fell in love. first song i heard was Something Like That by Tim McGraw. So when i heard he was coming to town i was all over that like a hot potato! And go to it with my best friend? What could be better? We got ready and we didn't have tickets we were just hoping there would be some extra tickets. THERE WERE. We got cheap tickets and amazing seats. Just close enough that we were able to dance around and see everything and just far enough away that we didn't have anyone in front of us. We met an amazing couple next to us who were die hard fans. They loved my overalls and continued to tell me during the night how hard core i was. I loved singing and dancing and pissing off drunk old ladies behind me who don't know how to enjoy a concert. not to mention it was my first. I loved every minute of it. There is nothing better to me then music blaring and me dancing and looking like a fool but happy as can be.

Day 5: A Picture of Your Favorite Memory...
Fabrizio. My Churro Man. Our secret love affair started one saturday afternoon when i went to camden market with jen and lize. we went for the usual food. i met him when i went to get the most heavenly churro in the world. (hence my heavy weight, but hey you gotta live it up) anyway these churros were filled with chocolate or caramel  or both. amazing. anyway i would see him every saturday. we would flirt a little and he slowly began to remember me and flirt a little more and give me churros for free. i loved it. it was fun to just be able to flirt with someone and not be worried. anyway on one of my final days in london i took my parents to camden market and i didn't see him at his stand. it was super disappointing because i wanted to kinda say goodbye. the lady at the stand was making my food and then started arguing with some in porteguse. i was so confused because i thought she was yelling at me. then in english she said, "no, no i am not saying that. no. you say it!' and i turned around to see him. just lounging on the chair and smiling at me. we talked and exchanged names. he told me how beautiful i was and my eyes and such and he remembers me from my visits. i blushed and smiled. he asked me out for drinks and i sadly knew i had to decline but told him instead if i saw him again then i would. little tease. it's not that he is abercrombie model or anything. it was just the flattery and the fun of it. besides men with accents get a little cuter right? nothing happened ever but it was a fun moment. and my mom being a creep snapped a photo, which i am grateful for now.
Now...This Man. Wow. He loved lize. he thought she was so cute. it was funny because he was missing teeth but he was adorable. he was right outside borough market he sold the most amazing bread and the most delicious sandwiches. i am holding one in my hand. yummy. i miss it. anyway we were really stressed out because it was towards the end of our trip and we were all getting emotional. we had just gone to grenwich. it was a lot of fun but exhausting. anyway this guy told us once we graduated from school all the way we would come back and find him and we would go sit by the river with wine and bread. we would talk about life and what lay ahead and he would tell us his story and what we needed to do. it was funny and it was interesting to know he has lived through some days! i loved it though.
 These are MY men from London. I will never forget them our the memories. So funny.

Day 6: A Picture of Someone You Would Love to Trade Places With For a Day
honestly? i've never really thought about it...when i figure out someone i'll let you know. but right now, in this moment i am very happy and don't want to be someone else. i might have a few years ago or even months. but today, now not so much. but i would trade someone for the fashion maybe and the mula! 
Day 7: A Picture of Your Most Treasured Item
I don't have a photo but probably  my photo albums and little books i've made with quotes and stuff. pictures are my favorite with the memories i hold dear.

Day 8: A Picture That Makes Me Laugh
i saw a squirrel, i was disgusted in so many ways. and scared the stupid thing would come near me. but everyone else looks really cute! i just wasn't having it and we didn't have time to snap another shot. so here we are with this great one.
this is almost a typical day at my house. i'm goofing off and my mom is telling me not to do it and jane is off in la la land and kate just doesn't care and meg is usually behind me laughing. at last i caught it on camera. best of all this was at an airport when most of the chaos goes down for my fam.
aww kate. we told her not to take benadryl on the flight. but she didn't listen. this was the end result. she somehow managed to get off the plane and into the backseat of the car and this was what she ended up doing the whole drive. but it was so entertaining for meg and i.
  these three photos make me laugh the hardest. always.

Day 9: A Picture of The People Who Have Gotten You Through The Most

 i'm sure there a ton more people who know who they are and what they have done for me. there are so many people who have influenced my life for the better, some who are now in my past and some who i'll never forget. but these are some of the most important people to me who have been there when i was at my worst moments to my best.


Day 3

A Picture Of Your Favorite TV Cast

Gossip Girl
Grey's Anatomy 
This one is a New Found Love.
One Tree Hill 
Always Has The Best Quotes
Besides, i LOVE Brooke and her fashion plus Hayley
This One Is New but a WINNER.

These Shows Have All The Drama I Need In My Life.


Day 2

Day 2: A Picture of Someone You Have Been Close With For A While
 Nicole Michelle Stull
we met in fourth grade at Samantha smith elementary we were inseparable than and are now. despite moving schools and her leaving in sammamish and now arizona it has jeopardized our friendship in the slightest.
Rachel Abbyann Nyberg 
we met our sophmore year in a geography class and i knew i wanted to be her friend because she thought i was funny. she has been my dork face ever since. we have had some crazy moments but a lot of my favorite moments are with her. she has helped me through some tough times despite us being so far away from each other.
Amanda Nicole Lehan we met freshman year in high school. We met through my mom and have been twins ever since. i wouldn't have it any other way.


30 Day Challenge I Give

Day 1: A Picture of Yourself with 15 Facts

1. i love quotes. reading them, writing them down, making them up.
2. i love cooking. i love to make desserts but not for myself, for others
3. i love to paint and doodle and just let my mind wander.
4. i love to dance all around the house and with my headphones in, anywhere anytime
5. i love my family. three sisters and i wouldn't have it any other way
6. i'm not a big chocolate or sweet girl but i love me some muddy buddies.
7. i love music. listening to it, dancing to it, analyzing it you name it. i really love 80's music
8. i love to read. when i find a good book i go through it in days no matter the length. harry potter is one of my top tens hands down.
9. i traveled and lived in the most incredible city for four months, London. and it was the best time for me. i can't wait to go back and to continue to travel.
10. i love my friends. everything they do for me and the lessons they teach me.
11. i love taking pictures and putting them all over my wall and remembering the great moments that make life great.
12. i write all over my wrists no matter what people say about "ink poisoning" 
13. i love sunshine but i love the rain and the snow. i love weather i find it fascinating 
14. i love movies. i really love 80's movies and anything by John Hughes.
15. no matter what i say, i still believe there is some chivalry left in this world, and there are amazing boys somewhere in the world. my friends have proven that to me. i am so proud of them for finding great guys. (cough cough emma and david ;)


good night big moon

if i could write a letter to myself for when i was younger, kind of a back to the future sorta thing it would contain tons of songs tons of lyrics tons of quotes and tons of random advice. one of the songs it would hold would be this one...

I don't really like the set up of it all but i love the song and it has the lyrics so that's all that really matters.