question for the ages.

"whatever happened to chivalry? does it only exist in 80's movies? i want john cusack holding a boombox outside my window. i wanna ride off on a lawnmower with patrick dempsey. i want jake from sixteen candles waiting outside the church for me. i want judd nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. just once i want my life to be like an 80's movie." 

-easy a

 ain't that the truth?

chipmunk for dayyyssss

on monday, i had the wisdom ripped out of me. literally. my wisdom teeth were taken out at 9 AM. it was a tough ordeal...i was put down with laughing gas and then had some kind of IV running in me to keep me down. i had all four taken out. my bottom teeth were completely sideways and were beginning to turn more and almost get tied up in my nerves. NOT GOOD. then my top two teeth were just normal but compacted. it wasn't a pretty sight. and having such big teeth and a little mouth there wasn't much room for all those big teeth.


once i was in the little chair and had the laughing gas mask on i was feeling pretty good, that stuff alone can put me to sleep. my mom was standing in the doorway making sure nothing went wrong. i had nurses all around me and had my heart beat up on a machine. i felt like i was on grey's anatomy. then my cute little doctor came in. he said my name a million times, even though i had nothing to say. once he put the needle in i was looking very far away. but i felt something strange, and in and out of my haze of laughing gas that my IV wasn't working. so even though my arm was numbed up and such, i had that weird feeling of something moving in my skin. i turned and looked to see the needle was in fact being moved in my skin. (I'm sorry if this is TMI) but its MY blog. then my doctor kept flicking it and flicking the IV bag until finally it started to work. then i was out. I don't remember much after that. I remember waking up in a different room and looking around oddly. I slept for days on all my magic pills. One of my pills was supposed to make me "crazy" my family found this hilarous and couldn't wait to see how i would react. Instead of being crazy, i was extremely calm and well nice. they came to the conclusion that it had the opposite effect on me. it is now the fifth day and i am still swollen but not as much. my mom took me to the big girl doctor (because as she put it "you'll be so drugged up you won't remember anything") i didn't have anything done luckily and just had her push my stomach-that's another blog post. here are the horrendous pictures. no judgment please.

This my friends, is day 1. not too bad i just am cracked out to the max.i am trying to smile believe it or not.

Day 2. now the swelling has increased and the jokes begin.

day 3. the worst day of my life. the swelling is still the same it just kills. harry potter jokes began. those of you who have read harry potter i'm sure will understand the jokes. they ranged from polyjuice potion to the last book where hermoine messes up harry's face so they won't recognize him.

day 4. i don't have a picture because i slept the entire day and could hardly move. i was so tired. and when i was awake all i wanted was a pancake. but we didn't have any, and it was a blizzard outside.

 this is how far i can open my mouth. i tried really hard. and it was a difficult feat for me.

day 5. because i didn't put a photo up of day four here are two. i don't think the swelling has really gone down. i have a copper taste in my mouth from the stupid stiches, but my mom thinks it has. maybe on the right side. who knows. i look like a hot mess.

But i did discover that the two perks of having your wisdom teeth removed are 

1. you lose a lot of weight (because you don't eat anything)

2. you get a lot of sleep and special treatment.

Happiness In A Purple Box

Today was disgusting. I had to change I don't know how many diapers today, oh and i only watch one child. my sweet cousin who is one had about as we call them, "blow-outs." it was coming out of everything and everywhere. i got it all over me, because she likes to move around. a lot. and i was just sick. the smell, ugh. dis.gus.ting. i can't even explain it. then i came home went to the store and as i arrived home for the second time, there it was. my happiness. my temptation all in one.

these two boxes made my day. i was so happy to see these delicious items on my counter. and a day that went from being super smelly and gross, went to sweet and tasty. now i just have to hide them from myself so i can lose weight for the big family trip coming up.

7 days in paradise before school? i think so. 

 monkeys outside my window?

 infinity pools?

sunshine, beaches, a vacation. tan lines. perfect. costa rica here i come.

just hope that the girl scout cookies don't get the better of me...

Inspiration

"right now i want a word that describes the feeling that you get-a cold sick feeling, deep down inside-when you know something is happening that will change you, and you don't want it to, but you can stop it. and you know, for the first time, for the very first time, that there will now be a before and an after, a was and a will be. and that you will never again quite be the same person you were."

-A Northern Light by Jennifer Donnelly 

it has just ended up being one of those weeks where all you want to do is curl up in bed and forget the world. forget about growing up. forget about everything. i rarely have these moments, but it seems that when it happens, it hits hard. i'm not big on crying, i hate it. i feel uncomfortable when other people cry and i'm not very good with it. i don't know how to comfort them the right way, so i usually just say something funny or try and help them feel a little better. for some reason i just couldn't shake whatever funk i was in. may it be pre-pms (i know that's an excuse for girls when they get over emotional but hey i need some reasoning here..) maybe it was from lack of sleep. maybe it was from missing so many people at once. people who are away from me. whatever it may have been i had a sentimental moment with myself and fought back the tears. that is until last night. it was late, midnight to be exact and i had to get up early to work and i was just frustrated and tired. i was running around downstairs like a chicken with it's head cut off looking for a shoe. a simple shoe. the match to a shoe. my baby cousin's shoe to be exact. i had found it earlier that day and then it evaporated  once again. i was in distress mode and could feel myself getting tense and didn't know why. my mom came in to make sure i was going to bed and found me crying. simply broke down crying. i hate it. the last time i really cried i felt like i was going crazy. (mary and channing know this story best) i was at a Harry Potter Party and I won't go into the details...but i embarrassed myself beyond belief and was a mess. a complete and total mess. curled up with my cousins dog crying. little black rivers running down my face (the rare occasion i decided to wear makeup and it's all over the place.) anyway i realized why i was in such a funk. i was sleep deprived yes. stressed yes. lonely? yes. but all in all i was feeling a lack of inspiration. a lack of good songs, of that feeling you get when you hear a song. you know the emotions. i'm sorry this is a jumble of a blog post and it is crazy but i needed to just write it all out. anyway i stumbled upon my BEST friend Mary's Blog and i read through it as i usually do before i go to bed. and as my room mate last fall she always gave me great songs. she didn't fail me in the slightest. at the end of her blog was the inspiration songs i needed. now i have songs to paint to. i guess in strange ways, and i can't believe i'm saying this. prayers are answered sometimes in the utmost simple ways.

on a happy note, i can't wait for my girl scout samoa cookies to come in. delishhh.

boring? i think not my friend.

last night my sister margaret decided to stalk all my favorite blogs of all my favorite people. and she told me that i'm a boring blogger. i haven't ever blogged before so i am in fact not very exciting. but it will change i believe, eventually. but you can't plan moments, you can't plan pictures, you can't plan life. i have discovered this over my short years of living so far. but in 19 years i have had a lot of crazy adventures and done some crazy things. i lived in another country for a few months. i lost some people along the way in many different ways. i've done some things i'm not proud of. i've grown up little by little. i've met some amazing people in my life. i've met people i'll never forget. i've graduated from a crazy high school. and now go somewhere i never would have expected myself. i met some people for life. and even though i might not be exciting because all i do is hang out with these people.

 kate has the wound because she got hit by a toy by some boy at the park? not sure. but she is gangsta.

 two of my younger sistas taking pics on my computer. with my awesome bed spread.

 kisses from jane.

 meg's cheer comp. and amazing cheer makeup.

 we found jane doing this, she wanted some pops can you blame her? this is not posed. this is all jane.

and this is esme. i get to play with her from 6:30 AM - 4:30 PM monday-friday. 

and now these are the moments that are my life. for now. until i go back to school. until then i find my life pretty exciting considering. but i do miss some certain people back in the burg. and some people down in provo. you know who you areeeee.