never forgotten

"now is the time for us to shine. the time when our dreams are within reach and possibilities vast. now is the time for all of us to become the people we have always dreamed of being. this is your world. you're here. you matter. the world is waiting."

 i found my aunt's number in my phone today.. i miss her a lot. i have tried really hard not to think/talk/anything that would remind me of her. i'm never deleting that from my phone.. never thought it would hurt this much.

back where i belong. never felt so strong.

yes in fact we are reunited. at last.

got to see rachy and twin last night and exchange some presents. i saw my boys a few days in a row and got a gnarly bruise from going shooting. yes i shot a shot gun. scariest most adrenalin rush i have had in a long time. the bruise is pretty funny though. and now at last i am reunited with this sexy best friend of mine.

he loves baby jane like she was his own little sister. but she's mind and i'm lucky enough to have both of them :) brandon is my big best friend and i miss him like crazy whenever he leaves.

My Favorite People

it is almost 7 a.m. on saturday morning. i am finally finished with the semester. a crazy semester, a sad semester, a fun semester, a semester full of tears from laughing so hard your crying, to a semester from crying because you miss people in your life who had to go or were taken before their time. this semester as i have said before is one for the books. on our last night in the burg my sister flew in with my dad to drive home with me. i couldn't be more excited but what a bittersweet feeling. once you get into the swings of things down here it is hard to get up and leave again. but in reality i need a break, i need family time and i need to spend time with some old friends and catch up. someone in particular i can't wait to see. it's been way to long. anyway the point of this post is to talk about my favorite people.

 first up is this beautiful girl i like to call miss sassafrass, or better known as margarine. no really meg is her name and i am lucky enough to call her my sista. this girl can drive me absolutely insane and make me want to scream at the top of the lungs, or she can make me laugh harder than anyone else. we can sit in my bed and take embarrassing photos on my computer for hours and not get tired of it. we are so alike and so different it makes our relationship unique. she is more of a sister to me and more of a best friend. something different. we have watched rainbow bright together to sweeny todd. we have made up handshakes that are so secret we forget them the next time we attempt to replicate it and end up making up something new. this my dear is my best friend margaret. and without her there are a lot of things i don't think i could have made through. probably would have curled up in a ball, but she has helped me through it all in her own special way. i am forever grateful that God decided to let me have her as my baby sister. 

 nicole. there are so many memories, so many pictures, and so many jokes that no one will ever understand or give our friendship justice. we have been best friends since about 4th grade. never faltered, no matter where we lived we always kept each other updated on life. from my boy drama to her boy drama. to friend drama to just random things we thought were funny, texting and cell phones help us survive not being able to see each other much. this girl right here, she is family. she has given me some of the best advice and been one of the few to really get into my alice in wonderland brain. she is one of the very few that i can call and just vent and cry to on the phone regardless of how far away she might be. she emailed me every step of the way through london. every time i am considering a boy she knows everything about him and knows what to say. she has snuck to movies with me when we were younger and listened to my parents rant to me about the circle of life and all that jazz. cole is the person i would wake up in prison and look at and say," dang lets do it again." she's my troublemaker.

miss eliza. this girl. wow. we are so alike it's not even funny. in london someone called us tweedle dee and tweedle dum and well, it just stuck. so now thats what we refer to each other as. we have made mistakes that no one else would understand. we have thoughts no one else would think. we have lived our lives to quotes. we watch the harry potter puppet pals so many times we can sing it without music and without fail we always wonder why Dumbledore isn't wearing clothes. we met in London and became close right away. she always had my back there and even when she didn't know the boys who burdened my mind, she was never judging. she gave me the purest advice and it was always right. usually i found out after (when i didn't listen to her) but hey, i'm working on it. she is another one i can call and just cry to and tell her all my problems and she fixes them with one quote. for some strange reason we have this sixth sense about each other and we always know when the other needs some strength. she is one amazing girl and i am so lucky to have met her in such a wonderful place.

this is jane. she is my baby sister. she is the most incredible little child i've ever encountered. she never ceases to amaze me with what she can do and say. she is the one person who i can always count on that will make me smile. when she tells me she loves me and throws those little hands around my neck in a tight squeeze, just like the grinch my heart grows two sizes in a second. she is the funniest little person to be around. i am so happy i have this gem in my life to make me realize there is still some good people out there and the world isn't all bad.

this gorgeous woman, is my mother. she has seen me at my worst and craziest times. she has always been there to wipe my tears or let me know it's going to be alright. when she say's those words i believe it. she knows me better than myself sometimes. she has stayed up late doing projects with me. she has brought me back down when i've been so stressed i feel like my head isn't attached to my body. she has encouraged me to go London (best choice ever) she convinced me to go to college. she convinced me to take my doodles and make them into art. she is the most caring, beautiful, intelligent..funny..amazing person i know. i hope that when the time comes i can be half the mom she has been to me. the lessons she has taught me i will never forget. everyone remember to love your mommy. they really are God's angel's on earth.

 this is one of my all time favorite photos of me and this perrtty girl. her name is mary, but i prefer to call her chuck on occasion. she gave me my new middle name because i don't have one. it is chrysanthemum. brilliant i know. my other favorite is this picture we took of us eating a taco together. yes we shared one taco. each eating one end. it was quite the experience. we were at taco bell and people just stared at us. anyway this semester we lived together and dressed up all cute for halloween. this was one of my favorite photos. we have had our ups and downs and we have had as i call them "dark ages" which last only about a week. but she has been one of those people you just need in your life. she is amazing and incredible. she helps me to be better. she always laughs at my dumb jokes and helps me out with my boy problems (wow these boys creating too many problems!) anyway brother marrott thank ya for puttin me in a group with this chica.

next up we got this tall glass of water named channing. she is beautiful inside and out and fantastic at doing make up. one of the best. when she is famous doing Angelina's make up i will be able to say she did that for me! i met her through mary. but we became friends in our own way. we have danced until we can't dance no more. we have laughed until our sides hurt. we have gotten stuck in ice, sand, mud, you name it she got us out of it somehow. she is the funniest person i know. she does a great "Grinch" voice. fantastic really. she has many a talents, she infact helped me make this blog. she is my reading buddy, and such a kind soul.

bout time i threw a boy in here. this is camas. he is one of my best guy friends. a sweetheart and one of the nicest guys i've ever met. despite speculation and rumor we DO NOT like each other as more than friends. we are just very close. not in a romantic way. anyway. he is a guy that i met this semester and we have just been friends. he has helped me in his own little ways and just been there to make me smile. his goofy little smile. i don't know how to explain our friendship. all i know is he is one of my favorite people.

these two pictures might not make sense to anyone else but me, meg, and rachel. rachel is our ponyo who is in the cartoon. you had to be there kinda story. rachel. rachy. dork face. haha. there are so many things i could say about this girl. we have had some great moments. we dance in the car. we sing in the car. we make fun of gingers (ironically two of my best friends are gingers). we watch weird movies. we eat lots of food. we love to laugh. we have been friends since miss trumper's class. don't know how it happened but it did. she laughs a lot, which in turn makes me laugh, then her, then me, as you can see it never ends. it is just a good time with her whenever we are together. we can have our serious moments though. those are the funniest. she is in china right now for a week and i miss her :( but i get to see her soon. she is an amazing friend. enough said.

slut in truck. friends since freshman year in high school. as you can tell the 5 hour energy is starting to wear off and i need to wake up meg so we can finish everythin up and go get some breakfast of champions. i love this girl. end of story.


p.s. there are a lot of people that are my favorite this is just a few. so no hurt feelings

reminiscing on the year 2010

yes folks. two posts in one day. but it's a way to avoid studying for finals ain't it? and i figure this justification is that i've never had a blog, despite the requests, so might as well catch up right? Again I find myself avoiding my finals. I have gotten two done, a math project, a math test complete. Now I find myself working on a psych objective list and a math take home final. I look back on the year as it is coming to a close in only a few short weeks. There are a lot of things I can’t believe have happened. If you are just tuning in this is kind of me summing up my life in 2010. A little sentiminteal I know, but I can’t help just writing it all out and letting the memories wash over me. I get sentimental whenever I have to move somewhere. This weekend for example I have to pack up my little life in apartment 303 into a few boxes, two suitcases, and place them into my tiny black jetta and once again head out for the open road. The road that will lead me back to the valley. A place where I belong, a place where I feel safe and loved. A place though that now holds so many memories both good and bad. Memories I haven’t yet let go and some I have erased from my heart. Let me just make this clear, this is my blog and I am allowed to write what I want about whatever I feel. I refuse to write mean things about people, because for real what good does that do anyone? I don’t want to look back on this and think wow I was kind of a biznatch. (mormon slang) but rather I want to remember the memories for what they are. Cherished memories in my heart. As I go through my photos right now I realize this is going to end up getting into a long blog post so I will just post a few pictures about each and get it done and then do another about all my favorite people. Alright lets begin the year 2010 from the start. 

 London, England

27 Palace Court

january 17th i took a flight with my cousin mk to london, england. this is where i spent the first four months of the new year.

 I arrive in London and began my study abroad. I met some incredible people and got to do things i never even imagined. i was traveling the world and living the dream. i was with my cousin mary kate. i had amazing roomates in dorm four. known as the dorm 4 divas. each and everyone of them taught me something in their own way. i was away from family, away from my valley, away from a world i had known. i had stepped into my own kind of alice in wonderland novel. everything was so new to me. i had a bit of culture shock at first (dave this is just for you, love your sassy) and i was having some trouble adjusting to it. it might have been from the time change or from the fact of being purely exhausted. for a while there i was scared out of my mind and wondering what in the world i was doing in another country, with weird money, and weird accents. the boys though on the tube made it easy to look at that's for sure. but when push came to shove i realized i was living the dream. i needed to remember why i had come and what i was doing. i was doing it for ME. purely because i wanted to get away and do something i hadn't done before. something i knew i would regret passing up. while i was in london i met one of my best friends. Ladies and Gentleman, allow me to introduce you to the one, the only. Miss Eliza.  This girl got me through some of the hardest days in london. she helped me to remember what we were doing and who i wanted to be. not to mention this girl helped me through hell and back, but after i finish writing about london i'll just post pictures of people who got me through the days and made it enjoyable. while i was in london a person from my past decided to come back. we had broken up in high school, and sometimes there is a reason why things stay broken. but me, being lonely i decided to give our relationship one more try. liza, told me that i shouldn't but it was always my choice. if only i had listened i would have saved myself from some heartbreak. he was good to me when we were younger and i don't regret falling in love with him. i don't regret a lot of things in life, but i do regret letting him come in once again and breaking my heart all over again. people have it right when they say that after a while the heartbreak get's a little easier, maybe if it's the same person over and over again. but hey who am i to judge? anyway we broke up (of course) while i was in london and things stayed that way, and have continued to stay that way. we both have gone different ways in life and changed a lot. we are becoming adults which is a scary thought. i know we will both remember what we had and cherish it, but understand this is the way things should be. we are both better off not together. i am happy the way things are. i don't regret it. it was fun while it lasted. anywho. i loved every minute of london and the things it made me realize. it changed me for the better. despite the fact that a horrible volcano decided to erupt and keep me there, i was with my parents. two people i admire and love more than anything.  here are some pictures of my beautiful friends and mini family from london. i didn't take a lot of pictures with people who did a lot for me, but i still remember the memories. for example (emma, macy, caitlin, audrey, tori, jake, cam, calvin, cait, katie, sarah, dave, macfarlane, susa...the list goes on and on.)

 yes we had spring break in paris. and it was magnificent.

 this if frabrizo, he was my churro man. those churros are brazilian made and by far the best things i have ever had. churros alone are divine, but now add fresh chocolate and caramel inside the churro? heavenly. and this man was charming in his own way. he couldn't speak english very well, but it was cute that he tried, and well he flattered me. and i hadn't seen real men for months! he was sweet, and i will forever miss my churro lover. had to keep to the code and decline his offer to dinner :( and the fact that i was leaving for the states the next day...but it was quite the memory.

 this is jen. i love her and miss her. her laugh was contagious, and making fun of her was probably the best thing ever, and doing the hitch dance for her during finals week? priceless.

 this picture is what happens when you let a bunch of american girls into a mormon singles ward dance and play some of our tunes. a good dress, a good pair of heels, good friends, and a smile? well we rocked that night.

 my beautiful cousin mk and i. been there for me since we were little and discovering wee lil babes in the garden.

 this man always made lize and i smile even on our worst days. every thursday-saturday we were guaranteed a smile from him and a hug. we never knew his name but he always recognized us and gave us free sandwiches. he called us beautiful and told us one day when we graduate from schooling we will come back to london and find him and go lay on the river bank, drinking wine and his sandwiches from borough market and talk about life's secrets. i can't wait.

 this is to to, she is beautiful, smart, charming, and all around an amazing girl. what a character.

 jake with his ladies in paris.

Once coming back from my wonderland i was a little sad but very ready to be back in the valley and back with the family. i missed them all so much. i had to wait a month though until my best friend Nicole came back from college in Arizona. As soon as she came back we began our amazing summer that was unforgettable. we went to country concerts from Love and Theft, Lady A, and Tim McGraw all in one night, while mind you wearing the most comfortable carhart overalls and plaid. i was "legit" as a drunk couple told me multiple times that night. we also went to trace adkins and toby keith at the gorge to end our summer. we spent all our time together laughing and eating at mongo and loving life. i worked at the club by my house as a pool attendant with my lovely sister. i got a tan and got to look at some good looking life guards who later became my good friends. i continued my summer by watching the most adorable little boy ever. Cormac and Jane were my little friends all summer. i didn't do much but i loved every minute of getting tan. i had girls nights all over the place, didn't have any summer romances, but i read a lot of books by the pool and was happy. i had memories i will never forget with people i love sooo much. it was quite an eventful summer when i look back on it. 

 fancy night with rachel and meg. their laughter and smiles make me happy.

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 this would be cormac and jane. my favorite pair.

 typical night at tim mcgraw

 4th of july in the rainy valley, but so fun.

 basically sums up our relationship when we get together.

 probably the cutest kid to watch. E.V.E.R

 my beautiful sis and i, we played dress up a lot this summer.

 on the way to toby keith. nothing better then wind whipping through your hair. yeah we whipped our hair back and forth before willow did.

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 sun tan lines are my favorite thing.

 my small, but wonderful 19th birthday party with my loves from school (most of them)

 fancy dinner with rachel.

 the infamous overalls, i can't wait to slip back into once i'm home again.

 Boston Family Reunion

 my beautiful cousin abz

 Fall Semester 2010 in apartment 303 was full of some good times and i spent a lot of it with these people. i loved being around good people and laughing a lot and just growing up. it was a crazy semester full of love, loss, and gaining new friends. this year has been crazy full of emotions i'll never be able to explain and memories i'll never forget. 

Goodbye 2010.

 loved the smiles and laughs and tears. 2010 you have been good to me. farwell.